The Occult

We can find happiness right in our own home, our workplace, in school, in the company of our friends, etc. It is up to us to find the ways and means to achieve that happiness each of us seek and long for. However, it is important to recognize that there is no one absolute way to find the key to happiness. People have different ideas with regard to the ways of achieving happiness.

The following classifications are perceived by many people as sources of happiness:

(1) Family and friends
(2) Wealth
(3) Position/Rank
(4) Educational Achievement
(5) Fame (i.e. politics, arts, sports)

(1) HAPPINESS IN FAMILY AND FRIENDS

The very first place where happiness dwells is right in our own homes. We find happiness just by being with our family – our parents, spouse, children and grandchildren. In fact, they are our source of strength and inspiration. Having a harmonious home life gives us happiness – one that we truly cherish and treasure.

True friends are also a source of happiness. The support we get from them goes a long way in helping us to get by in times of troubles. Somehow, friends complete our life.

2) HAPPINESS IN WEALTH

A lot of people associate wealth with happiness. Almost everywhere in the world, people are preoccupied in the acquisition of wealth. They look at wealth as the secret to happiness. To some, wealth and happiness are synonymous.

Not that we should despise the rich and the famous or discourage others from aspiring to be so. There is nothing wrong with dreaming of becoming rich just as long as we acknowledge that wealth has limitations. Furthermore, our priorities must be clear from the very start. Clearly, we must know what should rank first in order of priorities lest we spend our days in this world meaninglessly and without hope. The pursuit of material riches should not be on top of our priority list. How many times have we heard of people giving away millions of their wealth just for peace of mind? They are constantly gripped by fear, that is, fear of losing their wealth through robbery or theft. They also fear for their life and the lives of those they love. These fears may even lead to sleepless nights, stress, tension, mental anguish, heart attack and death.

Understanding and accepting that happiness has nothing to do with the accumulation of wealth is perhaps the most liberating realization we can ever come to.

3) HAPPINESS IN RANK AND POSITION Can we achieve real happiness through the attainment of high rank or position in society?

To many, the answer is “yes.” For most people, having a high-ranking position is synonymous to power. Such persons would have the power to rule and lead. If they become “good leaders,” they would be able to lead based on sound moral values and good work ethics. In return, they would earn their people’s trust, obedience, support, loyalty and cooperation. Eventually, they would find happiness and satisfaction doing their job.

However, any person who is entrusted with authority and abuses it would definitely be responsible for misuse of power. His position would only be a source of misery, as he will be confronted with issues such as corruption and problems like loss of public trust, public revolt, coups d’etat, etc.

History can speak for itself. How many unwanted rulers, kings, emperors, and presidents have been overthrown? A good example is former Philippine President Ferdinand Marcos, who ruled the country for 20 long years, but his reign came to an unfortunate end. He was “thrown” out of his own country by his own people and spent years thereafter in exile.

4) EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENTS

Can earning the highest level of education such as doctorate degrees give happiness? For people who derive happiness from learning, knowledge is power. Some successful people have attained high levels of education.

However, we hear about professional people who are successful in their own fields and yet feel miserable and depressed because they feel that something is missing in their life. We hear of doctors being sued for malpractice and negligence, of judges committing suicide, and of many other sad stories that are hard to believe but are actually happening to professional people. Does education really guarantee happiness?

5) HAPPINESS IN FAME

Fame is also associated with happiness. In sports and various careers, it is translated to victory, winning, and attaining the status of a celebrity. Are famous men and women happy?

Let’s take the case of sportsmen. They practically devote their whole lifetime practicing to be the best at their chosen sport. However, sports can be so stressful, especially when they are brought to the extreme. Imagine the kind of pressure sportsmen have to go through to win over a game. To cope with high expectations, they take prohibited drugs to have the stamina and endurance required in their chosen field!

Consider the despair, embarrassment, shame, and ridicule that they have to endure whenever they lose a game! So, let us ask ourselves – can a life exposed to such pressures and humiliation be a truly happy life?

For many, the future is bleak. The continuing escalation of prices, natural and man-made calamities, terrorism, local and global strife, family problems, poverty, criminality, famines and other crises do bring desperation and hopelessness.

Can we still find happiness in such a depressing situation? Yes, it is still possible to find happiness in such dire predicaments! What happens around us is largely beyond our control, but the way we choose to react is within our control. In short, even in the midst of difficulties in life, we can still make happiness happen; that is, if we want and choose to make it happen. True enough, life is what we make it! Isn’t this a wonderful discovery?

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Most people nowadays have indeed become very unhappy and miserable. With everything that is happening around the world – natural calamities such as earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunami, etc., terrorism, and economic crisis – it would not be a surprise if people just give up hoping for a happy and bright future. It’s very easy to become unhappy when things don’t turn out the way we like. We feel angry and irritable. However, we must not dwell on these feelings too long because they can lead to problems that are more serious. But how can someone be happy when he is sick and in pain? How can a mother and a father be happy when they do not have enough income to provide for their children’s needs? How can one find the key to happiness when he does not even have a shelter over his head? There are many causes of unhappiness and each of them must be addressed.

Besides having poor health and insufficient income, other causes of unhappiness include:

BURNOUT AND LACK OF PRODUCTIVE WORK

The keyword is “productive” for it gives a sense of fulfillment. Without it life starts to feel empty and void of direction.

Getting physically and mentally active may help overcome unhappiness. Get involved with something worthwhile, something that will give a sense of fulfillment or achievement.

THE FEAR OF REJECTION

It hurts when people reject us. It leaves a feeling of sadness and lowers our self-esteem. Rejection can show up in many forms. Some people express rejection by verbally saying that they do not like the person or his idea. Some express skepticism or ridicule the person presenting new ideas. Others try to form their own group and exclude those they dislike.

Rejection is also expressed non-verbally. Some adopt the closed and defensive stance and refuse to listen to ideas by re-directing the flow of conversation. The thumbs-down sign is universally understood as rejection.

If this is the case, we should try to associate with other people who will accept us for what we are. Rejection should not put an end to our efforts. We should take it as a sign to do a re-examination and try another approach.

LIVING ACCORDING TO OTHER PEOPLE’S STANDARDS

This is a very common cause of unhappiness. The people who care too much about what others think about them usually have difficulties deciding things for themselves. They live their lives according to other people’s will and expectations. It’s very difficult to pursue happiness when all we do is please others instead of ourselves.

We should be confident about ourselves. Cast fears aside. Keep in mind that other people’s deeds or words does nothing to diminish your self worth as a human being. Robert Louis Stevenson has this to say, “Don’t let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.” We feel joy when our self-worth rests quietly within us, not on the lips of others.

THE FEAR OF FAILURE

Failure to achieve important goals in life can lead to feelings of inadequacy and frustration. We should set realistic and doable goals in life. These goals should be meaningful to us; otherwise, we will only derive little happiness from achieving it. Goals should be set for all key aspects of our lives.

Start with a systematic plan to achieve goals. Begin implementing them and monitor the progress. Once we start to achieve our goals, we will find our happiness increasing. If life is not the way we like it, that shouldn’t be cause for unhappiness. Edward de Bono has this to say, “Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and expectations.” Too many expectations can really cause unhappiness; therefore, we should try to live a simple life - with simple wants and simple needs. More importantly, we must try to overcome the things that pull us down and move on with our lives.

SINS AND CRIMES

Nobody is perfect. All of us commit mistakes. Some people may have unknowingly committed mistakes. However, a few people consciously live their lives in sins and immorality. These people have not fully realized the serious consequences of doing sins.

Sins and crimes are cause of unhappiness. Crime does not pay. Eventually all criminals get caught because justice will catch up with them. Violence begets violence. Truly, it is difficult to find a bright future behind bars or six feet below the ground. For some who manage to get away with their crimes, guilt will most likely haunt their conscience and can cause them to feel miserable for the rest of their lives.

ALCOHOL AND DRUGS

Some people think that happiness can be attained through alcohol or drugs. Consequently, they resort to these substances thinking they can escape from the troubles and worries of life. They are dead wrong! It is like escaping from small fire to hell.

Alcohol is a mood-altering substance and is a depressant. In fact, some doctors prescribe moderate amounts of alcohol as tranquilizer or sedative. Having the occassional drink or two actually improves health and helps with relaxation. However, greater quantities can be fatal. Alcohol abuse ruins both the mind and the body. Anyone who drinks too much is risking the hazards of accident caused by loss of coordination, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease and related disorders. Then you have drugs which destroys the mental health of the user. Today we see so many forms of social ills and chaos due to the worldwide surge of drug addiction. Many cases of suicide and homicide are related to drug abuse.

DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISMS

These are useless acts and seldom accomplish any positive results. If we have to give feedback, we must make sure it is constructive and useful. Criticism is one of the greatest causes of limitations in our lives.

We should learn to be tolerant of the behavior of others even if it does not fit the pattern of our opinions. Learn to savor the differences between people. Imagine how dull the world would be if we all thought, spoke, and acted the same way!

If we are on the receiving end of destructive criticisms, it is normal to feel upset but we should evaluate the purpose or motive of the person who expressed his thoughts. If we are upset with people who do not have anything good to say about us, we might as well avoid them. Let us try to associate with people that naturally please us. More importantly, always keep in mind that we cannot please everybody; hence, we should not let destructive criticisms be a cause of worry and sleepless nights.

Take the time to examine your feeling. Why are you really unhappy? The key is knowing the cause. Once you know the cause, you’ll be able to work out a plan to overcome it. That is the secret to happiness.

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