The Occult

The old saying tells us that the best laid plans of mice and men will fail. Not sure how complicated a life a mouse might lead when we’re not watching, but it appears well nigh impossible to plan our busy lives around work and family, without any of those additional “days off” devoted to teacher training, weather or illness!

Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone and everything were flexible, schedules included and you could simply drop your work commitments at a moment’s notice to substitute care for a sickening child?!

1. If you can – plan. Some of these troublesome days are truly unpredictable, while others may be scheduled in advance. Of course nobody knows what the weather is going to do, but snow days only arrive during certain months of the year, whilst inset days are generally planned in advance and with a little bit of work can be sewn into the schedule.

The biggest problem of all revolves around sick days, of course. Prepare and plan as best you can, as you know that these days will surely come! If you are struggling with your planning, consider some professional coaching to help you get back on track.

2. Save up your personal days. Both parents in your household might have to work due to regular commitments, in this case it is important to reserve some personal days for those sickness events. Many employers these days grant a certain amount of personal days and you should talk to your Human Resources department and your line manager as you try to anticipate these scenarios.

In many cases you will not have any advance notice, so you need to look at this from every perspective and try and be fair all around.

Whichever way you look at it, there’s no denying that it helps matters if you and your partner have a sympathetic employer. Never use these personal/sick standby days for anything other than the reason they were intended.

3. Set up some favours. If you have several children to take care of, you should come up with a backup plan as well. In an emergency, maybe you can rely on some care giving help from friends or good neighbours? Always repay these favours in any way you can. The more emergency backup plans you have the more you are going to be able to cope with the issue of a sick child or three.

4. Roll out the vitamins. While on the subject of coping with sick children, remember that any amount of prevention is better than a cure. Teach your children good personal hygiene, that they should eat well, should rest well and be in good health at all times, as they will be less likely to fall victim to those annoying, smaller viruses.

5. Be a good weather forecaster. Always keep a watchful eye on the forecasts during the winter months. These days they are generally much more reliable and if you can see the threat of a blizzard a couple of days ahead, start making contingency plans accordingly. If a school district is closed, it might be very difficult for you to get to your work location as well, but if the office is open, see if you can count on one of those personal days or plan to work from home.

Isn’t it difficult wearing so many different hats that you don’t know which one to put on?

Nowadays, online life coaching can really help you work out which part of your wardrobe to turn to on each occasion! If you’re in need of guidance, coaching for women can help you to manage and not panic!

Amanda Alexander, Director of Coaching Mums, helps pressure-cooked, stressed working mums who long for more hours in the day. Through her coaching programmes and online life coaching courses, Amanda shows mums how to create fulfilling and successful lives. For your simple 5 step guide to balance as a working mum, download our free eBook today!

For many new parents, it can be very difficult to comprehend the change in their lives. The arrival of kids can make a huge difference and really change the way that they looked at the relationship and at the very structure of the partnership.

What may have been a perfectly happy marriage can become, rather quickly, a rocky road. Tactful tweaks and adjustments will be needed by both partners in the relationship to smooth the path, and not only for new parents. Maintaining a happy and successful relationship when kids come into the equation really does require us to constantly work at our relationship with our other half.

Whenever doubts arise, worries come to the surface or even anger bubbles up, it is important to take a step back and look at the overall picture. Do you feel that you cannot properly see the problem due to life’s complexity? So much is going on that it is easy for parents to become overwhelmed and not know how to cope. Sometimes this leads to the need for additional jobs and causes parents to become complex role players. In a situation such as this, even more pressure can arise as each person tries to concentrate on their new role, to the detriment of the other relationships. In the case of new parents, the mum may put so much effort and attention into caring for the new arrival, that the marriage may not seem so important a priority any more.

Meanwhile, new dads can often feel a bit left out and surplus to requirements! In this situation, you might start to believe the mum is the one to look after the kids and step back. Subconsciously or otherwise, this may result in him backing away from the relationship as a whole, even though he thinks it is the right thing.

Both parties need to watch each other and look for tell-tale signs. Look for signs of overload, irritability or a short temper. Don’t dismiss any negative vibes such as this, as if left to fester small problems tend to grow large, ugly and hard to crack.

Whenever the kids are not around, sit down and have a very deep and meaningful conversation. Quietly and calmly ask your opposite half whether you are being reasonable and expect their honest replies. Remind each other that things have changed now that you have additional family members and this is to be understood, priorities now look different.

The most important point to remember is that it will take the efforts of the team to raise the children properly and both members need to realise how much effort this will take and how it is a joint venture. Give yourselves a pat on the back and never forget that you two represent the lead team in the family!

It’s not all doom and gloom The allocation of time must be based on quality and prioritisation. Can you remember when you had a nice weekend away together? That romantic dinner should be scheduled as often as everything allows and try your best to come up with small, but meaningful and romantic gifts or surprises for each other.

Mums can face a considerable challenge, especially if they are working as well and it’s useful to consult experts to help them manage the juggling act and the myriad of emotions they will face along the journey of motherhood. Generally, online life coaching focuses on real-world professional coaching, and as it is tailored toward coaching for women, it can often be a saviour when everything seems doomed.

Amanda Alexander is the Director of Coaching Mums and a widely renowned ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working moms across the globe who long for more time, balance and fulfilment in their busy lives. Download our free eBook especially for working mums with 5 easy ways to achieve balance.

It’s time to celebrate when you hit one of those 10 year anniversaries!

When you get one of those milestones, pause and look back at what you have gone through, how successful you have been and what you have enjoyed. For others, reaching such a milestone can be a bit troubling, as you may fret whether you have really achieved enough and where you might be in another ten years.

It’s important to take time to look at where we are in our life, and to take stock of our financial, emotional and personal goals. It’s also quite common for a woman, busy raising a family, to think about her sexual appeal and its effectiveness when she gets to the big 40.

As we get older, we tend to be more philosophical. This is a consequence of being able to reflect on many of life’s rich experiences and in many cases knowing how to put these experiences into practice. During our development as a human being, each milestone that we get to represents a significant achievement and a time for us to reflect and reinterpret our memories. As our interpretations change as we age, when you get to 40 you will definitely look at things in a different light as compared to ten years previously.

Things get better as we age, and as a 40-year-old mum, we are emotionally and mentally more secure and this by itself adds to our sexuality. Dignity comes naturally at this age and those elements of insecurity seem so far away.

We are much more composed, and know how to deal with any situation when it arises by displaying a sassy attitude, allowing us to feel inherently good about ourselves and to resolve problems with a lot more ease.

Often times, professional coaching is a marvellous boost for mums, whatever page of life they find themselves on and especially if they find an upcoming milestone to be challenging. The word “sexy” means different things to different people and will certainly have its own interpretation in your eyes.

Physically you will have a different appearance of course, but with your maturity you need to learn to trust yourself to make the most of your looks every day. Take a leaf from the page of those old screen heroines and present your best side to whatever camera approaches you. As each year goes by, you will become more mentally and emotionally secure and as a consequence, much sexier.

Be secure in your status and believe in yourself and what you have achieved. Your children are a great reflection of you and you should be proud or both them and your partner. Remember that life is only really enjoyable when you truly love yourself, first and foremost. Seek out online life coaching experts if you feel a little overwhelmed when you are approaching or get to those special milestones that everyone makes such a big deal about!

Remember that life begins at 40 and when coaching for women in this position I often remind them that the biggest favour they can do themselves is to think and act “young.” Ask yourself this question - if you didn’t know what your actual age was, how old would you think you were? And no, it isn’t “90”! Fabulous 40 mum, go and get them!

Amanda Alexander is Director of Coaching Mums and a highly acclaimed ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working moms who yearn for success, balance and fulfilment. Are you a juggling mom? Download our free eBook for working moms that will give you 5 simple and instant ways to balance your life right now!

Taking a career break in the middle of a recession is probably not the best idea, but sometimes we are forced to do so, especially when we are expecting a new arrival. Household budgets are difficult to balance at the best of times and the thought of being a full-time mum can be attractive, but hardly realistic. As soon as we are able and are ready, we need to get back into the job market to find a way of catching back up financially.

With unemployment rates so high, the labour market can seem to be an even more daunting proposition than usual. This is not the time to be recalcitrant however, as you need to double your preparation and negotiation skills along with your self-confidence. To start off with, you should make a thorough analysis of your financial position and needs for the months and years ahead. Be reasonable here, but cut everything that is not absolutely necessary. You should be very clear about your financial requirements, the absolute minimums and the ideal scenarios.

You may well have been perfectly happy with your career before you took the break, but you should now evaluate exactly where you are, whether you want to go back into that arena or explore something completely fresh. Should you start your own business? Does your financial analysis tell you that you can expect to have fair returns from self-employment, while still making ends meet and if so you may be presented with an exciting and flexible concept for your new life. This may well be the time to consider professional coaching as these are some very significant and potentially very impactful decisions. Specific coaching for women in your position will help you determine the correct path.

It’s important to be positive and never to focus on the negative. Focus on all your strengths, which you should write out on paper and keep on your desk at all times. Focus on your psyche and project yourself well in all your phone calls, e-mails or conversations.

If you are aiming for a particular position, try and consider jobs which are beneath, but fall naturally within the career progression. You may be overqualified, but if it gives you a stepping-stone toward your ideal position, by going the extra mile you will soon find that you become eligible (and get) the position that you want.

Even in this tough hiring environment, those people who really stand out, help and over-perform will still get ahead of the unfortunate majority who do not. Set your mindset for success and you will get there.

At this stage, you will need all of the inner strength that you can muster. We cannot help but hear all the negative news about the economy and jobs on a daily basis and might be inclined to believe that our task is monumental, a hill too steep to climb. However, remember to take this journey one step at a time and always be 100% sure about your ability and chances of getting a position before you pick up that phone or type that e-mail. Before you make a phone call, stand up and take a deep breath. A slumping posture, or a sagging mindset will not help. Always smile as you talk on the phone as well.

Nowadays, online life coaching can give you the boost when you need it, as all of us go through periods of negativity or self-doubt. You can definitely do this!

Amanda Alexander is Director of Coaching Mums and a highly acclaimed ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working mums who yearn for success, balance and fulfilment. Are you a juggling mom? Download our free eBook for working moms that will give you 5 simple and instant ways to balance your life right now!